Dear Love,
I’ve spent my entire life searching relentlessly for you. I’ve looked for you in coffee shops, wine bars, night clubs, on train rides and plane rides. I’ve looked for you in different states, different countries, in the mountains, in the cities, in the depths of the oceans. I’ve traveled the world looking deeply into the eyes of others hoping to find you there. I’ve looked down every street, every alley, in every nook and cranny for you, love.
I’ve even caught you a few times; you were as magnificent as I imagined! Everything with you is magical – your presence makes life sweeter, softer, kinder. I’ve found you in partners, friends and pets…in my career, in my writing, in movies, books and nature. You’ve been present in my life in so many different and unexpected ways. You’ve changed me and shaped me in ways I never could have imagined.
But you always slip away. You never stay. Why don’t you stay?
Each time I catch you, I hold on for dear life. Begging you to please stay this time, begging you not to leave me again. I’ve prayed for you, cried for you, pleaded with you. But you quietly slip out of my grasp, again. I’ve chased after you in my darkest hours. I’ve had sleepless nights longing for you to come back to me.
But you don’t come back. Why don’t you come back?
I believed that if you knew the depths of my desire for you, you would stay. That if you could only see that my will was stronger than yours, you would stay this time. I wanted to believe that if you could only understand how desperately I needed you in my life, you would want to stay.
But you don’t stay, you never do.
You are as excruciating as you are exuberant. You arrive without warning and disappear without explanation. You are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. You have brought me both the greatest joys and the greatest pains of my life. My highest of highs and lowest of lows have been because of you, love. You are my best friend and my worst enemy. You’ve abandoned me when I needed you the most and you’ve found me when I least expected it. You are fleeting, mysterious and unpredictable. And yet, I can’t get enough of you. You are addictive and spellbinding…you are my constant craving.
I’ve looked everywhere for you, love. Not just pieces and parts of you, but the real you. All of you. And then I realized, there was one place I hadn’t looked…
I never looked in the mirror at the person staring back at me. I’ve looked for you in everyone and everything else, but never looked for you within myself. And there you were, all along. Right there inside of me, hiding in plain sight, patiently waiting for me to find you.
You are extraordinary, love! So much bigger and stronger and easier than any other kind of love I’ve experienced. It’s as effortless as an exhale and as pure as honey. I see you everywhere I look now. I can feel you in everything I touch. You are delicious and mouthwatering as you swirl through every ounce of my being, filling my soul with your exquisite gifts.
But what I love most about our love is that you see me—all of me—and you hold my flaws and imperfections with a warm embrace. I see now that you are unconditional, infinite and breathtaking. You always have been.
I no longer fear losing you, love. This time no one can take you from me. This time I’ve made a home for you, for us, within myself and will fiercely protect you, guarding you with my life. You are my north star, my warm blanket on a cold night, my constant companion.
I’m ready for a beautiful love affair with you. I’m ready for my forever love with you, love.
Love,
Me XO
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I adore this… 💜💜
That is absolutely beautiful!