This is the kind of post that stops you in your tracks. The kind when you are mindlessly scrolling through your feed only paying half-attention to the posts flying by. Then suddenly it reaches out and grabs you by the heart.
Jaw dropped and teary eyed, I am swirling in the reminder of how small and narrow our worlds can become, the privilege I experience and the inequities that continue to exist in this country. It was a mind-blowing moment to realize that I have never had to think about makeup, nylons or band-aids that match my skin tone - a luxury firmly rooted in my white privilege.
This post is a beautiful and powerful story of feeling seen and shines a light on how far we’ve come in our fight for equity, inclusion and equal representation in our country. It’s a heart-warming celebration of the small wins in our progress toward hearing, seeing and learning from the experiences in our black and brown communities.
And it’s also a reminder that multi-skin-toned band-aids are just a tiny milestone in our Kilimanjaro-like climb toward truly achieving equity in our country. There is still so much work to be done to evolve our founding ideals and reconstruct our country’s foundation by weaving equity, inclusion and belonging into our diverse fabric.
This evolution consists of (1) grounding ourselves in the foundational belief that we are all equal (2) creating an inclusive and welcoming mindset in our communities and (3) deconstructing and reconstructing our systems by changing who and how people can access those systems.
To unleash the full power and beauty within our marginalized communities, this work must happen simultaneously. Equity, inclusion and belonging are tightly hinged together like a three-legged stool. If one leg is wobbly, the whole system breaks down.
Equity is achieved when everyone receives fair and equal treatment AND has equal access to opportunities. This is an important differentiator when we think about the difference between equality and equity in our country.
For example, in the illustration below the apple tree is widely available to everyone. On the left, the system to reach and pick the apples is equal because everyone has access to an evenly sized crate. In theory, everyone should be able to freely pick apples however, those who are taller experience a greater advantage while those who are shorter are disadvantaged and unable to reach the apples at all. To the right, an equitable system is created to ensure that everyone, regardless of height, has equal access to reach and pick the apples. This is how equity is achieved – lifting those who are disadvantaged to create an even playing field.
Inclusion and belonging are achieved when individuals who are different from us (regardless of what those differences are: skin color, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc.) are culturally and socially welcomed and accepted. This is about mindset, behaviors and relationships. It’s about changing hearts and minds, replacing judgement with curiosity and embracing our differences as an opportunity to learn and expand our perspectives.
In the chaos of our busy lives, it can be daunting to think about how we as mere individuals can impact and contribute to this transformation in our country. It doesn’t have to be about rallies, protests, volunteering or donating. It can be as simple as paying attention to our own behaviors, identifying our personal biases (we all have them!) and doing the inner work to evolve our hearts and minds first. When we create a welcoming and inclusive experience around us, that will naturally create a domino effect throughout our circles, our families and our communities.
And most importantly, we can listen. Actively listen to the experiences of others without judgement and criticism. We can lean into the conversation by seeking-to-understand what it’s like to experience this life from someone else’s shoes. Instead of anchoring to our own experiences, we can allow the stories of others to expand our point of view, broaden our perspective and create a desire in our hearts and minds to learn more.
“Empathy is not ‘walking in someone else’s shoes.’ Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it’s like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn’t match my experiences.” ― Brené Brown
Great article. Very well put. We still have a long way to go but I believe each day we can show up “better” for one another.