The world is softer than you think, darling. You will experience what feels like insurmountable roadblocks, setbacks and challenges as you emerge from a childhood forged by fire. All those detours were meant to point you in the direction of your true north. Listen to them, believe them, trust the path being laid out in front of you. Wipe your tears and embrace the learnings because those moments will be your most valuable life lessons.
Put it down, sweet girl. This is not yours to carry, it never was. You will spend years carrying burdens that were not meant for you. You will waste precious time wondering why your path in this life was meant to be so hard. It wasn’t. This is self-inflicted, a punishment of your own doing. Drop your shoulders, take a deep breath and let it go. Your future self will thank you the most for this.
Trust yourself. You have all the answers you are seeking. Spend less time asking the questions and more time quieting your mind. Embrace the stillness and listen to your heart—this is where the answers exist.
Your heart will know when it’s time to go. You will feel it and yet you will ignore it and stay longer than you should. There is nothing good to be gained from this, sweet girl. There is so much life ahead of you, don’t force something to stay with you forever when it was only meant to be with you for a season.
Be brave enough to do the hard things, to have the gut-wrenching conversations. Even though it will break your heart in half, hurting someone you love with the truth is easier than hurting someone you love with lies and disrespect. Do the hard thing—the right thing—so that your regrets won’t haunt you.
Always say no to the one-last-drink at the one-last-bar. Nothing good will happen there. You’re welcome.
You don’t know it yet, but you are incredibly brave and pioneering. You will never feel satisfied living the “American dream” or conforming to society’s standards or accepting good enough. You, darling, expect more. You hold yourself and others to high standards and will push the envelope in every job, in every relationship, in every space you are in. Stay true to yourself. Keep challenging status quo. You will become a beacon of light for others by simply living in your authenticity.
Build boundaries, not walls. You can’t learn the lesson they are here to teach you if you don’t let them in.
Slow down, darling girl. There is no award for being overworked, exhausted and burnt out. Take the long way. Lift your gaze. Absorb the ordinary beauty around you each day—the sunsets, the smell of coffee brewing, the first sip of wine, the long walks. It’s these simple and tiny moments that will fill your soul, ground you in the present and humbly remind you of the small part you play in this big, beautiful world.
Surrender to the journey. Let go of control and welcome the unknown with open arms. You are a force to be reckoned with, but this is not where you will find your power. It is only when you relinquish control and practice patience that you will experience your true power and learn grace.
The world will tell you that your body doesn’t conform to their skinny-girl standards. Repeatedly tell “them” to F U C K off. Embrace your curves and release the outrageous idea that your self-worth is directly correlated to your pant size. You only get one body in this lifetime, sweet girl, and you are privileged to have one that is strong, healthy and able. Let her be your anchor. Treat her like the most beloved friend you’ll ever have. She is waiting for you.
Yes, you were forced to take on an unreasonable amount of responsibility at an age when you should have been knee-deep in teenage shenanigans. But this, darling, is when you learned grit which will become one of your greatest strengths. Stop lamenting about what you lost and savor what you gained. This will serve you in extraordinary ways.
Your kind of trauma matters. Look directly at your pain. Don’t run from it, hide it or dismiss it. Acknowledging your pain will transform you, but first you must accept it as part of who you are.
You are a marvel, darling, a one-of-a-kind. It’s okay to claim your rightful space in this world. You belong in every room you will enter. Your voice matters and will make a difference in this world. Believe in yourself.
Go all in and live vibrantly every day. Reach for the stars, sweet girl. You are worthy of everything you are dreaming of. And when those dreams show up on your doorstep, accept them. Give yourself permission to experience the joy and happiness you deserve.
Most importantly, love yourself deeply and unconditionally—even the parts of you no one claps for. Seeking love and validation from external sources will be a never-ending trail to heartbreak and disappointment. The beautiful woman looking back at you in the mirror is your constant, your best friend, the love of your life. Treat her as such. Be tender and loving with her.
You’ll be tempted not to listen to anything I have to say because you are feisty and stubborn and a pompous little know-it-all, but if there is just one thing you hold on to, let it be this:
Always say yes to yourself because you are your most precious thing.
What words of wisdom would you offer your younger self?
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