Building the bridge between your past + future self
on being the architect of your journey
The month of December was specifically designed for people like me—those of us who have no self-control and have spent the last 11 months in a constant state of Doing: accomplishing, growing, failing, learning, unlearning, discovering, expanding, feeling and releasing. People who only slow down when the world slows down and, without the month of December, would surely die from productivity overload. And it came just in the nick of time this year since I had recently vowed to take a break from myself and my unhealthy need to be in a constant flow of Doing.
Something else beautiful and magical happens this time of year—while everyone slows down to enjoy the wonder of the season, a softness fills the air. People are more compassionate, kind and tender—they smile and make eye contact with strangers they would have otherwise avoided. The level of stress and tension is noticeably lifted, like an early morning fog slowly clearing. And for the first time in a while, we can see clearly, unobstructed. Our bodies release the protective armor that numbs us, and we begin to feel tiny sparks of joy from the simple pleasures—the first snowfall, the sparkling lights, the smell of pine, the taste of apple cider.
It’s the one time of year when the world gives us permission to take a guilt-free break from life to rest and remember that living is more than the daily grind, the steady stream of stress and the never-ending checklists. When we can officially release the productivity standards of summer and unapologetically claim space to reconnect with ourselves, replenish our energy and nourish our mind, body and spirit.
It’s also an essential and necessary time to look in the rearview mirror and reflect on the wins, the lessons, the setbacks and the comebacks we experienced over the year. To pause and consider where we are in our journey, the direction our path is heading in and begin setting intentions for the upcoming year.
Setting intentions is more than just announcing our New Year’s resolutions (which are forgotten before February even arrives). It is deep, soul-level work that lays the groundwork for reshaping our path and cultivating growth and expansion in our lives. It starts with creating awareness to the parts of us that were once necessary for a reason or a season but are no longer in alignment with our desired state, then creating a roadmap of the new behaviors, ideas and habits needed to build the foundation for our future self.
Because, after all we are the architects of our journey.
Experiencing real transformation in our life happens when we make purposeful choices to change our daily behaviors, ideas and habits. Without deliberate focus, we can quickly fall out of alignment with our goals and spiral back into old habits and unhealthy routines. It's the small steps we take every day that build the bridge between our past and future self.
Make no mistake, shifting away from deeply embedded behaviors and deconditioning ourselves from our past is hard and some days, downright impossible. But when we realize that where we are going is so much more important than where we have been, the journey becomes lighter. Letting go of our past can simply mean holding space for the things we choose not to return to and giving gratitude to the experiences that shaped us.
There is so much beauty and wonder to be found in the endless process of personal growth and transformation. A process rooted in deep curiosity, reflection and self-discovery. A process that is more windy than linear and without a clear beginning and end—only a long, curvy road with occasional mile markers that remind us to celebrate our achievements along the way. And then slowly but surely, like a snake shedding its skin, the person we are becoming begins to look and feel different from the person we are leaving behind and our passions begin to burn brighter than our fears.
“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” - John C. Maxwell
my reflections + learnings from 2022
We never fully arrive at perfection. The constant ebb and flow of learning and unlearning is the journey.
The natural flow of life can only exist when we surrender our need to tightly control the process and the outcomes.
Tomorrow’s sunrise is never a guarantee. Finding the balance between living responsibly and only living once is the ultimate conquest.
We can’t hear the whispers of life gently nudging us toward our true path when we don’t create space in our daily schedules to think, breath, connect and create.
A new way of thinking is the only path to a new way of being.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Holding gratitude for every detour, every closed door, every stop sign that led me to this magnificent, peaceful place in life.
The realization that there are no bookends on the journey of healing. The state of being fully healed does not exist.
Our wounds, traumas, scars + pain forever change us and are forever a part of us, but don’t have to define us. We get to choose how we will carry them.
The pain I carry is both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.
I am healthier when my energy flow is focused inward instead of outward.
Saying no to protect my time and space is not selfish, it is mandatory.
Prioritizing “me” time is the single most important thing I can do for my mental health.
things I’m choosing to leave behind
Putting down my armor and releasing old behaviors that once served to protect me (emotional sprinting, impenetrable walls, hyper independence, self-deprecating humor).
Deconstructing the versions of me I no longer need. Shedding the skins of my past as a necessary step in the journey to rediscover my true self.
Body shaming myself and believing that my self-worth is connected to my pant size.
Letting go of my need to be an emotional “fixer” as a way of avoiding the emotional torment I feel when sitting with loved ones in pain.
Foods that create inflammation and pain in my body.
Giving and receiving in unequal portions.
Reacting instead of responding.
Wearing Too Busy, Overworked and Overcommitted as a badge of honor.
Choosing the comfort of others over my values. No longer shapeshifting to fit into spaces that don’t align with the essence of my person.
Unapologetically letting go of people, places + spaces that no longer serve me.
Releasing behaviors and beliefs that diminish my presence.
The fear of being known.
An Ask
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Thank you for your support! Forever grateful to have you on this journey with me. Cheers, Reagan